When Families Go To War, The Inheritance Is The First Casualty

I sat with two brothers last year. They hadn't spoken in three years, except through solicitors. At stake was their late mother’s estate: a three-bedroom house on the Isle of Wight and around £150,000 in savings. By the time they came to us, they had already spent over £40,000 in legal fees. The money was simply vanishing, burning away to fund a conflict that started with an ambiguous will.

This is not a rare story. I have seen this happen to good families. The value of an inheritance is not just financial; it is the final statement of a lifetime’s work. Watching it be consumed by a dispute is a tragedy.

For years, families could get stuck in these legal battles, refusing to compromise. That has now changed. A Court of Appeal ruling in November 2023, *Churchill v Merthyr Tydfil*, gave judges explicit power to stop proceedings. They can now legally order warring parties to attempt mediation before the case is allowed to continue.

The consequences for refusing are severe. If a judge orders you to mediate and you refuse or stall, you can be hit with an adverse costs order. This means you could be forced to pay the other side's entire legal bill, even if you technically win your case. The courts have lost patience. They are using financial penalties to force people to the table.

The Real Failure

The real failure, however, was not the brothers' inability to agree. The problem started years earlier with their mother’s estate plan. The will was vague about what should happen to the family home. One son believed he had a right to live there; the other wanted it sold and the capital split. Without clear instructions, a dispute was almost inevitable.

A properly drafted Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) for property and financial affairs could have provided a clear framework. A modern will, perhaps using a simple trust, could have specified exactly how the property should be handled, for how long, and for whose benefit. This removes ambiguity. It removes the battlefield.

These situations are difficult. The planning to prevent them is not. If you want to ensure your own arrangements are clear and resilient, we can talk.