When Families Go to Court Over an Estate, No One Wins.

I sat with two brothers last year. They were in a court waiting room. They hadn’t spoken in six months. Their only communication was through solicitors, at over £400 per hour. They were there to fight over who should manage their mother’s care. She has dementia and could no longer make decisions for herself. At stake was her home, her life savings, and her final years of dignity.

A family law specialist, Dr Chris Aniche, recently explained what happens when people take family disputes to court. His focus was on child arrangements, but the dynamic is the same for inheritance and capacity cases. People go to court expecting to win. They believe it is a place for justice. This is a fundamental misunderstanding. The court’s involvement signals a failure of planning. The process consumes time, money, and goodwill. Once you are in it, the conflict hardens and relationships break down.

The Loss of Control

The central mistake these brothers’ mother made was structural. She had no Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA). Without this document, no one had the legal authority to manage her affairs when she lost capacity. The sons had different ideas about her care. One wanted her to stay at home; the other insisted a residential home was necessary. The disagreement escalated until the only path was an application to the Court of Protection.

That application to appoint a ‘deputy’ cost the estate over £80,000 in legal fees. It took 14 months. During that time, their relationship was destroyed. In the end, they did not get to decide. A judge, a stranger who had never met their mother, made the final decision based on formal reports. They relinquished control the moment they asked the court to intervene.

The Plan That Prevents the Fight

This entire outcome was avoidable. A Health and Welfare LPA, prepared years earlier, would have named the person—or people—the mother trusted to make these decisions. A separate Property and Financial Affairs LPA would have authorised someone to manage her bank accounts and pay her bills. The total cost is typically under one thousand pounds. It requires a single, difficult conversation. Instead, the family chose silence. The result was a six-figure legal bill and irreparable damage.

These are not easy subjects to discuss. But I have sat in those court waiting rooms. I have seen the consequence for families who do not plan. The conversation is always better than the courtroom. If you need clarity on your own arrangements, we can talk.